Log in

No account? Create an account
Cautionary Tales For My Friends - :: Miss Von Trapp Bites :: [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Miss Von Trapp

[ userinfo | About Me ]
[ archive | Dear Diary... ]
[ dotcom | Miss Von Trapp: Murderously Quirky Dark Cello Cabaret ]
[ facebook | Facebook Page ]
[ bandcamp | Listen and Buy my Music... ]

Cautionary Tales For My Friends [Apr. 8th, 2004|04:16 pm]
Miss Von Trapp
For Julia (Jui-ehh!!)
(who obsesses over fish)

Young Julia would sometimes wish
That she might someday become a fish;
On Saturdays she'd beg her mum
To visit the aquarium -
And stand, her mouth agape in awe
At all the swimming things she saw.

These days, however - dreadful fate!
Those fish are oft upon her plate!!


For Myself
(who used to only eat potato or chicken)

Elizabeth wouldn't eat her greens -
So Grandma forced her to eat grass.
At end of dinner, plate untouched,
She'd leave with handprint on her arse!

So now, at thirty - lesson learnt,
She'll not complain at yucky grub -
Unless, of course, the meal is burnt -
Proud member of 'The Clean Plate Club'!


For Leon
(who obsesses over cows)

When our Leon was barely one
His love of cows was just begun -
Not weaned upon the bovine ilk,
Nought passed his lips but mother's milk.

(When Leon was eleven,
He drank all the milk in Devon!)

But at the age of twenty-one,
He's forking out a princely sum -
On all-night drinking nonetheless -
And living in a dreadful mess!!

The milkmen think 'tis dreadful folly
To forego milk for pints of Bolly!!


The last poem was cobbled together in a hasty moment when I was supposed to be typing crappy addresses at work last night...the first two were written in bed this morning because I couldn't sleep lol!!

(anyone else want one? Post your name and your 'favourite obsession')

Leon is going to be 21 on Saturday and everyone is getting him cow-based gifts!!

(Bollinger is his tipple of choice, and he was BLASTED last Saturday hehe)

[User Picture]From: eldritch00
2004-04-08 09:49 am (UTC)
You know, I have a lot of obsessions, but seeing as my last post was about fountain pens, perhaps that CAN be used. Looking forward to it!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-04-08 08:30 pm (UTC)
Sometimes when Andrew tried to think
He'd scribe his thoughts in coloured ink.
Inferior pens would make him sick -
Especially the hated Bic -

For Andrew, nothing could be better
Than Parker scrawled upon a letter!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: shardofmany
2004-04-08 10:02 am (UTC)
I have many obsessions one about chicken and one about nylon. Would love to see how you work that one together :)
(Reply) (Thread)
(Deleted comment)
From: shardofmany
2004-04-08 08:40 pm (UTC)
Ah you know me well.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-04-08 08:42 pm (UTC)
Ian loved a chicken -
But he thought that it looked ill -
So he dressed it up in Nylon
To beat the winter chill.

Ian's chicken chuckled
As she saw the strings she wore -
Then she went into the oven -
Ian's chicken was no more.

So beware of Ian's Nylon
And think long on such a fate -
It isn't all that funny when
You're dressed upon a plate!

(reposted due to typo)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)