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Miss Von Trapp

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. [Mar. 30th, 2004|04:27 am]
Miss Von Trapp
[Mood |tiredtired]

Lone Bird

The cuckoo flaps and harries.
Loudly demanding --
Crying for attention --
Like a drowning man
Threatening to drag me under.

I am not his mother.
I have nothing left to give him.
No strength --
No energy --
Bled dry of sympathy.

Yet he will not fly this nest --
Afraid of what lies beyond this fragile security.


My long-term severely depressive ex-bf is still living with me rent-free in the spare room, even though I can't afford it... The doctor/NHS system is failing to get anything done atm, so he has nowhere else to go:/

I split up with him in Nov 2002, and he lived with me (in the spare bedroom) without paying anything toward bills, food or rent until Dec 2003, when I couldn't afford it any longer and sent him to his fathers...which is why I'm dragged under with horrendous debt:/

He came back in February...was supposed to be packing to move away, but got stuck as he broke up with his girlfriend. Now he's having drug treatment, and the psychologist/council is supposed to be getting him somewhere to live...but they are taking forever, and I'm running out of energy.

Having been his carer pretty much for the last 6 years (we were together as a couple for almost 10 years) I am all he has left, and it falls on me to look after him with this illness...

I think the above says it all.

For as much as it's rotten for me right now with not coping too well...it's a hundred times worse for him being ill in this situation:((

Keep it to yourselves, ok?

[User Picture]From: abishag
2004-03-29 11:42 pm (UTC)
Well naturally- but I'll be thinking of you both, and hoping something useful happens soon.
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[User Picture]From: vimster
2004-03-30 05:30 am (UTC)
The very best of luck to you both, it's a shame when people fall through the gaps in life. Let's hope the relevant authorities pull their finger out and enable both of you to progress.
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-03-31 07:48 am (UTC)
So do I!!

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[User Picture]From: aurorafaery
2004-03-30 06:33 am (UTC)
It takes alot of strength to do what you have done for him.
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-03-31 07:49 am (UTC)
I'm slowly running out of strength though...I think it's mostly due to food/cash lack...

Should improve once my pay goes in:)

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[User Picture]From: vashe
2004-03-30 08:34 am (UTC)
You are quite the human being. Don't forget to look after yourself as well sweetie *hugs* xxx
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-03-31 07:50 am (UTC)
I'll try:)

*hugs back*
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[User Picture]From: vimster
2004-03-30 10:09 am (UTC)
Bah, can't post comments to your other entry (30/3/04).
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-03-30 06:36 pm (UTC)
Should work now, I got rid of the 'Hutta' thingy...those ones always require you to put your username, password and tick the log-in box:/

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[User Picture]From: elves_uk
2004-03-31 05:18 am (UTC)
a huge hug for ya xx
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-03-31 07:53 am (UTC)

I'm dragging him off to the docs tommorrow morning, means I'll have to stay up for 'open surgery' between 9 and 10:30am after work...but he needs to go...

Wandering around wailing and wanting to die atm:/

(he's run out of Lustral)

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[User Picture]From: mehdi_caps
2004-03-31 05:09 pm (UTC)
What a sacrifice you made... your intimate life, I mean, your ability to live something with someone else... during all those months! And you had that long distance relationship that ended so bad (when we became lj friends - I even want to say simply friends). Apparently, you're going to win your freedom back tomorrow. That's great news. I send you hugs, and smiles, and scary stares to make you laugh. :)
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-03-31 05:55 pm (UTC)
Well ho hum!

I even gave up a place in 1997 to do a degree in Nursing in London...but my duty of care was to those close to me at the time, and I considered it more important:)

I haven't had much luck, have I? *shrug*

And, yes, I also consider you a friend...disregard the 'lj' prefix there:))

*enjoying the hugs and smiles*

*giggling at the scary stares!*

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