Miss Von Trapp (missvontrapp) wrote,
Miss Von Trapp
missvontrapp

Cautionary Tales For My Friends

For Julia (Jui-ehh!!)
(who obsesses over fish)

Young Julia would sometimes wish
That she might someday become a fish;
On Saturdays she'd beg her mum
To visit the aquarium -
And stand, her mouth agape in awe
At all the swimming things she saw.

These days, however - dreadful fate!
Those fish are oft upon her plate!!

.................

For Myself
(who used to only eat potato or chicken)

Elizabeth wouldn't eat her greens -
So Grandma forced her to eat grass.
At end of dinner, plate untouched,
She'd leave with handprint on her arse!

So now, at thirty - lesson learnt,
She'll not complain at yucky grub -
Unless, of course, the meal is burnt -
Proud member of 'The Clean Plate Club'!

..................


For Leon
(who obsesses over cows)

When our Leon was barely one
His love of cows was just begun -
Not weaned upon the bovine ilk,
Nought passed his lips but mother's milk.

(When Leon was eleven,
He drank all the milk in Devon!)

But at the age of twenty-one,
He's forking out a princely sum -
On all-night drinking nonetheless -
And living in a dreadful mess!!

The milkmen think 'tis dreadful folly
To forego milk for pints of Bolly!!

.............

The last poem was cobbled together in a hasty moment when I was supposed to be typing crappy addresses at work last night...the first two were written in bed this morning because I couldn't sleep lol!!

(anyone else want one? Post your name and your 'favourite obsession')

Leon is going to be 21 on Saturday and everyone is getting him cow-based gifts!!

(Bollinger is his tipple of choice, and he was BLASTED last Saturday hehe)
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