Was feeling very lethargic and uninspired/uncreative yesterday...tried coffee, vitamins, pro-plus, everything...finally went out at 7pm to Spikey's and Gordons...
We had raspberry cream sponge and double cream with a big mug of earl grey tea and loud music (Air and GnR) up on the roof terrace.
That fixed it!!
Went to work at 9, and had a darn good night which began with Leon and I playing silly buggers with the shredder machine, and then sniffing highly toxic red marker pens...and then having a very good discussion about things with Mary...with age comes experience it seems...worked through a lot of things and found out where I keep going wrong - and how to fix it.
Mostly, I need to cut out the directorial 'whats next' brain and live more for the moment...let things happen naturally rather than permanently pushing ahead for something more - I already knew this, but its hard to put into practice sometimes.
I need to relax more - be less hectic and wanting everything at once. I need to give myself and the other party more space to be myself/themselves and utilise my free time more creatively so that I'm not permanently distracted, unfocused on job in hand and instead wanting contact with the other person - remind myself that I don't have to share EVERYTHING I do to make it valid!!
I also need to be more adult about things - sensible in relationships, and hold emotions stronger in check...not let go too easily - self protection. I can do all this - been getting better and better at it lately but still with momentary lapses. If I'm patient, it will come. I feel like I'm relearning the whole process again since being in a relationship for 10 long years since the age of 18!! Weird thing to feel 15 at 30:/
Walked home with Michele, stopping to tickle a kitty along the way, went to bed about 7:30am...
My crimpers are heating up, hairspray and backcombing in a minute... then I'm off out to the Art Garden Cafe for an evening with like-minded people and my artist/performer friends - then off to Voodoo Lounge before work.
I think my crimpers might be burning the carpet...best get off the comp!!
RAR!! Definately feeling better today!!