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Miss Von Trapp

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VENTING MY LITERARY SPLEEN... [Sep. 20th, 2004|03:51 pm]
Miss Von Trapp
[Mood |angryangry]
[Music |Depeche Mode: Flexible]

This wanker pictured below on the right seriously fucked missbumpkin and myself off last night - to the point that we wrote our comments on a cancelled cheque and handed them to him.

Rev.Porl : A ranty, canty performance poet who delivered EVERYTHING in the same pitch, practically at a shout, which felt to me like aural assault, and if I wanted to be verbally abused for half an hour I'd rather have gone home and picked a fight with my mother to be perfectly honest!

It wasn't all his work - it was this 'poem' in particular (below), which he explained/announced his disclaimer at the start as being 'about whingeing housewives'; although reading it, I don't see any specific mention at all - and I rather took his explanation as a vehicle to just have a vicious go at anyone who is depressed or down as being 'oh dear I am miserable my day has been shitty everybody hates me I think I'll go kill myself now'...

Like telling someone who is depressed to stop being 'spineless', 'chin up' or 'buck their ideas up' is any help when they are dealing with a serious mental illness... and as for purporting the idea that depressive people just need a 'kick up the arse' - FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS!!

In short, I felt it was trivialising the fact that people do get depressed, taking the piss of them more than anything, and, for someone who tried to get out of my argument with him after by telling me 'I used to be a psychiatric nurse, y'know' (Ha! Exactly what I expected from an uncaring medical profession), I think the rant was utterly unneccessary, extremely ignorant and insensitive to people who ACTUALLY do have problems which should be taken seriously.

Depression should not be trivialised in this manner - even whingeing housewives might have some real reason behind their hitting the gin bottle, and yes, he incensed me almost to the point of tears. I did not spend the last few years dealing with someone with a serious depressive illness for fun...and yet I felt I was expected to sit there on a night out and pretend I enjoyed hearing that sort of ignorant shit.

I had a further discussion with him afterwards, fairly constructively suggesting that he had to be more aware of his audience, remembering that not a lot of people when they're drunk listen to the 'disclaimer' before he begins his rant - that it was not clear within the piece itself what the vehicle/reasoning behind the subject matter was etc etc...

But he was a condescending twat who very smugly suggested that I was simply a bit thick in not grasping the context in the first place. This seriously pissed me off even more - I'm not your average drunken plebian who's going to champion and cheer at you when you pick on workman-type topics for ranting about which are generally thoroughly misunderstood by the people who are banging on about them....

(I put up with this at work from thick fuckers who refer to immigrants as 'dole-stealers', 'lazy towel-heads' etc etc without understanding the full horror of the refugee situation, but just want to pat each other on the back for holding similar bigoted opinions...and I get very angry about that too...)

And I point blank refused to be a fawning, fleering sycophant and revel in the 'wit' I heard last night purely because he'd driven all the way down from 'oop north' to be in the venue.

Sorry, Rev.Porl, but if you can stand there and vent your spleen/foist your opinions on us at such a pitch in a bar I expect you to be able to hear out someone with some constructive criticism afterwards without acting superior. I suffered your opinion at such a decibel, you can bloody well listen to mine.

I don't often get angry - I'm usually a very level headed person and it takes A LOT for me to fly off the handle, but my god this had me wanting to poke his eyes out with a pointy stick...

Read and see if you agree:
(pasted from his website - the grammatical errors are NOT my own!!)


Breakdown! It’s the latest craze
they’re queuing round the block
to pay the counsellors wage

Break Down!

Welcome to the temple of the bleeding heart
where the mediocre pull their paltry lives apart
with nothing to complain about,
they insist their lives are shit
just makes me think what’s worse,the turd
or the flies who feed off it..

whatever happened to dignity
whatever happened to self restraint,
if you’ve done a poop, you have to share it with the group
or write shite poetry, weave suffering-charts or paint


listen to the spineless whine...
listen to the spineless whine...

it’s emotional incontinence,
oh how you’re striving to be happy
I’ll tell you what you need, love,
a fucking concrete nappy!!

Breakdown!It’s the latest craze,
their queuing round the block to pay
some parasites wage


(I’ll tell you what..give us fifty quid and I’ll listen to you for half an hour....)

Now tell me, where's the reference to the whingeing housewife in that?? I see no reference whatsoever to the valium-taking/gin-drinking/gold-card-spending stay-at-home mum (who has every valid reason to be miserable anyway) there at all... Is it just me who thinks that, if that's what the subject matter is, then it's not bloody clear enough is it?!?!

*derisive snort*

[User Picture]From: vimster
2004-09-20 08:44 am (UTC)
Blimey, he must have been needly to get your back up this far.
I always thought one of the aims of art was to help us understand the human condition. This chap, by all accounts, was merely using 'performance poetry' as a means to vent his perjudice, in a similar way to, say, a ventrilaquist using his dummy to speak his mind.

And yes, if you're going to give it out, you should be more than ready to take some.

Being confrontational can have it's uses, but having a thought-free rant at the expense of people who need understanding and tolerance does nothing for humanity. I just wonder what 'whinging housewives' have ever done to him.
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-09-20 08:46 am (UTC)
I don't know - perhaps I should have said 'tell me about your mother' last night lol!!

I've had similar attitude from ex-psychiatric nurses before... In particular, an ignorant twat at work who I don't see eye to eye with on some matters....
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[User Picture]From: yesdarlings
2004-09-20 08:47 am (UTC)
yeah, i fail to see more than a very slight link to whineing housewives....i guess if the point of the poem was made clear to begin with, it wouldnt be so bad...unless of course it was - in which case i think the poem itself needs rewriteing to fit that point, and prehapes in a slightly less arogant way wouldnt go amiss. i personaly would find it quite offencive to hear anybody state that, but i supose the line between contraversy/ going out your way to piss people off is pretty fine these days....
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-09-20 08:49 am (UTC)
It was apparently 'explained' before he started ranting... But you know what it's like in a pub. You can't hear anything inbetween the louder, shouty stuff as everyone at the bar is making a racket...

If it was explained, and I did catch a bit of it, then it wasn't clear enough, and needed to be more so within the piece itself because that's the only time that a drunken audience begins to take notice:/

I seriously wanted to kill him last night...arrogant fucker.
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[User Picture]From: elves_uk
2004-09-20 08:50 am (UTC)
Maybe he does it deliberatly to get a rise out of an audeince? just a thought. I know of a certain personality type who just enjoy pissing people off for no other reason than "they can". x
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-09-20 08:52 am (UTC)
Unfortunately, that's not the impression I got from either talking to him before/afterwards or from listening to his other pieces:/

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From: wildgift93
2004-09-20 09:14 am (UTC)
Is that the poem? Jesus Christ, thank God I was outside getting some air and missed it!
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-09-20 09:17 am (UTC)
Yes, that's it - with all its appalling grammar on display as well...

See now why we were both so livid??

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[User Picture]From: bringmestars
2004-09-20 09:36 am (UTC)
Fucking hell what a cunt! I'm glad I wasn't there elseI would have flipped! He obviously doesn't have a clue what he's on about! prick! I can understand why you were pissed off doll xxx
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-09-20 09:39 am (UTC)
Cunt is not even close... Nicky and I were SO angry - and you know that Nicky NEVER comments on something when she's pissed off/upset - yet it was she who got her chequebook out, wrote 'cancelled' on the front and wrote the comments... I merely added to them when I saw what she was doing and handed it to him afterwards.

Angela was pissed off at us for being 'rude to him when he'd come all the way from stockport'... Which is what my underhand reference to 'fawning and fleering/sycophant behaviour' was in my post lol!!

We totally flipped - and it was a good thing that wildgift93 was outside or she would have ripped his head off!!
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[User Picture]From: vashe
2004-09-20 09:57 am (UTC)
Sweetheart, I don't really know what to say other than to congratulate you on challenging him. I probably would've just left it, come home and tapped out a very angry LJ post without having had the chance to talk to the fucker that got me wound up in the first place.

I'd quite like to know who thought he'd be an asset to the night's line up... perhaps you should send a note of complaint to them, to try and make sure he doesn't get any more slots?

*bigs fat squishes and hugs* Why won't these wankers give it a bloody rest eh? xxxxx
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-09-20 10:01 am (UTC)
I couldn't leave it. I was so angry that I just HAD to confront him on it (plus I'd had a couple of double vodka and cokes, and a pint of Directors by then lol!)

I expect Chris just went through the list - so I'll have a quiet chat with him sometime - Chris is a lovely bloke and a very good mate, so I'm sure he'll understand:))

Get me a handgun and I'll give 'em a 'bloody rest' lol!!

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[User Picture]From: joysilence
2004-09-20 10:20 am (UTC)
This guy clearly belongs to the large section of the population who think that housewives and women in general are the lowest of the low and any activity, from teaching to depression, becomes automatically despicable if women take part in it. And he can go piss up a rope.
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-09-20 10:54 am (UTC)
That's exactly the impression I got from speaking to him as well - patronising, condescending, frankly quite irritating twat who did his best to appear superior and was even moronic enough to question MY level of intelligence as well!!

(I'm a woman, obviously, and therefore a thick bitch like the rest of them...)

Honestly, if the pub hadn't been so damn noisy it would have been more than satisfying to sit with him and give him a good critique/express my opinions - but I could barely hear myself, let alone anybody else - so conversation was difficult and he wasn't interested anyway.

There's a link to his website in this post btw - I'll bet he has a guestbook... I'm tempted to put the link to this rant in it...

*evil grin*
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[User Picture]From: hawklord2112
2004-09-20 10:54 pm (UTC)

Re: *hmmm*

i would almost balk at you comparing this wanker to hicks; hicks was an innovator of the first degree, taking the politics of the time and pointing out what folks were too timid to see for themselves, his comedy of the "bloody obvious" and "righteous anger" was, at the time and still today, quite fresh and original.

all this guy is doing is taking somehting that affects a few people very badly and then harping on about it.

he could have chosen anything else like diabetes, being colour blind, but insted chooses what is a real problem amongst many but can't bee seen as anything physical by the majority of us.
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From: shardofmany
2004-09-20 02:06 pm (UTC)
"And I point blank refused to be a fawning, fleering sycophant and revel in the 'wit' I heard last night purely because he'd driven all the way down from 'oop north' to be in the venue."
Ah the classic Nothern biggot/working class poet! Picking on any "subversive" member of society in an attempt to justigy his ignorance an insecurities.

"whatever happened to dignity
whatever happened to self restraint,
if you’ve done a poop, you have to share it with the group
or write shite poetry, weave suffering-charts or paint"

Is he talking about himself here?... Looks like it to me.
Methinks he is the one in need of behavioural therapy.
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-09-21 03:08 am (UTC)
Could well be. A lesson in sensitivity, understanding and empathy wouldn't go amiss here:/
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[User Picture]From: hawklord2112
2004-09-20 10:50 pm (UTC)
what a complete and utter wanker!

and how noble of you to challenge the snot that he was horking....

hmm. what else can we do. maybe set up a yahooemail addy "rev_porl_is_a_twat" and spam the crap out of him?

sign him up for all sorts of advert spam mails - not the pr0n stuff, mind, but for things like Writing courses and online university courses...

oh my the return of rent-a-mob...

PS - it's mortal_immortal this coming saturday 25th - blackcatz too.. do i expect to not be seeing you?
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-09-21 03:09 am (UTC)
I think such behaviour might well be stooping to his level, and I don't want to insult my character in such a fashion.

As for mortal_immortal and Black Catz - in the words of Michael Jackson, and very comforting they are too... "I'll be there..."
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From: misswhiplash63
2004-09-21 12:37 am (UTC)

Agghhhhhhh, what a stupid C**t! I heard a bit about this from Nicky on the phone, but not what it was actually about. Good for you for trying to talk to him, but people like that always have their heads too far up their asses to listen.
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-09-21 03:09 am (UTC)
If I could have severed it at the neck it might have made him more than uncomfortable for a few days at least...

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[User Picture]From: missbumpkin
2004-09-21 04:38 pm (UTC)
Finally got round to reading your post.
Seeing that dreadful 'poem' again brought all the anger flooding back again.
I wouldn't feel the need to write comments on the back of cheques (only spare paper in my bag) to anyone who I disagreed with normally. Quite the opposite - even if I don't agree with someone, the fact that they are up there on stage saying what they feel deserves some respect, normally. But this guy was different! He was ignorant, rude, condescending and worst of all I fear, dangerous.
Yup dangerous! ANYONE experiencing mental health problems is in for a hard time. It is a terrifying thing to go through. It doesn't have the blatant symptoms of a broken arm, for example, so it's not clear to those around how wrong things are, you can't see the chemical imbalances in people's heads, but it doesn't mean it's not there. I think that to criticise people who are experiencing a breakdown, be they young old, male, female, whoever, is extremely irresponsible. He is damaging people's progress (should they be ill and read this) by mocking their forms of treatment and behaviour, and perpetuating the ignorance and misinformation that surrounds mental illness. And all this by someone who claims to have been a mental health professional...frightening!

The guy himself was patronising and condescending to say the least. Oh we're just stupid and didn't listen to his intro! Fuck off! Nothing could justify that piece of trash, especially not a couple of sentences saying "ooh but it doesn't apply to anyone in the audience, just bored housewives".

Another thing which pissed me off - though it makes me laugh at the same time as I find it farcical - was the fact that I got told I was "out of order" for critiscising the guy's ignorant opinions. "He's driven all that was to be here and this is the thanks he gets!" Jesus F*cking Christ! What's happened to punk? Being told by a kid in tartan not to criticise something that I find so offensive I could spit because they had to drive here! Since when did punks stop expressing their opinions if the person in question has had to travel a bit to get here? Fuck that! If the Master of the Hounds from a Hunt in that guy's area had travelled all that way I'm sure they'd feel the need to express their point of view, and probably in a much more aggressive way than we did. I'm not going to sit there clapping like a fucking trained seal just because nobody else has said anything. I stick by what we did babe and I'd do the same again, I'll stand by what I believe in whatever.

Sorry this has turned into an enormous rant!
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[User Picture]From: missvontrapp
2004-09-22 04:47 am (UTC)
Sweety, we were positively civilised in voicing our opinions, and if anyone (I know who we were both referring to) says otherwise they can stick their sycophantic little shitty brown tongues right up their own cunts.

Oh, very punk wasn't it. Lick Lick.

Don't apologise for your comment being a rant - it's not. You and I both have every right to express our opinion, and goddamit we're right an' all... I just wish there was some way we could take this further without stooping to his level.

I actually think your comment here should be cross-posted in your own journal, with a link to this post too - I also think we should email him the link to this so he can come and get his reviews from the adoring public (including Mick Mercer *grin*). What do you think?

*big big huge hugs*
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