Miss Von Trapp (missvontrapp) wrote,
Miss Von Trapp
missvontrapp

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Periodical Complaint

Don't bother reading this if you are male, you probably won't understand.


I'm having a really bad week. Came on on Sunday...then immediately got very very low, tired and depressed...mixed in with hyper 3 hour bursts of creativity - painting/loud industrial music...up and down and all over the place and very very needy...

I've been like it all week...I'm having the worst period since I was about 18 when I used to pass out and be sick and lie in a ball crying for 3 days in pain...

This week...started Sunday...today is Friday and it STILL hasn't gone away totally...that or I've given myself some kind of internal injury and I'm just going to bleed to death...

I've still got pain, I've still got depression periods where I really need someone to talk to/cry on for no reason...I'm feeling near to tears with that lump in my throat for NO REASON at all...

I'm going to go to the doctor at the start of next week...but this weekend is going to be so damn busy (and monday too...)...theatre rehearsals have kicked up a gear now...it's my sis' birthday today and I have to go there in an hour, then work, then going out all weekend with Jui-ehh!! and Sunday...rehearsals 10am til 1pm and overtime at work from 2pm to 6pm...

Perhaps I'll get a chance to relax in the evening on Sunday...perhaps not...I've got to be up on Monday to go to rehearsals 1pm to 6pm...and work in the evening...

Weird Cabaret rehearsals will be increasing too...but I don't have a schedule for that yet...I'm going to be in theatre EVERY day for the rest of the month from what I can see on my Panto schedule, without even thinking about the cabaret stuff, and in work 10pm to 6am as well...I'm never going to get any sleep...

I've still got gut-ache, and I'm cranky, tired and low...I'm only ranting here because I'm a needy old cow who HAS to communicate or else I'll burst...and why I post so much when I am happy...

I NEED to communicate with people...it's who I am...Everything I do, I feel the need to tell someone what fun it was, or how exciting the project is...or what I've seen on telly/internet that was really clever/funny...it's apparently a very Gemini trait, and I'm textbook Gemini from what I've read...

It's why I'm an actor...my life IS communication...networking, talking with friends, sharing experiences...working on art/theatre/media projects that can communicate with an audience on many levels...having an audience really...it's where I get my energy for life from...I live off theatre adrenalin and having projects on the go...

It's also why I got a Livejournal in the first place...my mobile bill from calling and texting my friends was too damn high as I'd send them updates on everything ALL the time...I thought if I put it on an online diary they could read what I was up to and save me phone credit in the process!!

...which is fine, and doesn't cause any problems...unless I'm having a bad period like this month...

Because when I'm having a REALLY bad period, (which is rare as hell these days) and my friends aren't available to speak to...I get so DAMN low that I just go to bed and lie there and let the lethargy set in. I'm going to go to the doctor and get this sorted out once and for all. I'm sick of it.

And I'm sick of the fact that I'm probably pissing off a lot of people by ringing all the time when they're unavailable or busy.

I'm not normally THIS bad...I've just had a really bad week of it. First time in years.

Now I'm off for a cup of tea, a cigarette, and I have a ton of dull house stuff to do before I go out to mothers...

*sulks off*
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